This post is on cards and in memory for a few days before it is now made public.
We all are human beings and every man/woman is more than a critic than an appreciator.
That's quite true in every sense and I am sure most people agree to this.
I'll take my life as an example.
In my earlier life - late teens and early twenties, I have had this bad habit of talking much and spreading words here and there especially peoples' -ve traits.
I feel this is one of the deadly sins, I was made to realize that I was doing a mistake in those days by a good colleague in my first company.
Later I knew that I was continuing doing that but couldn't control it.
Now I am in my late 20s and I could see a change in my for the past 1 or 2 years. I am conscious whenever I talk to people not to discuss other peoples' -ves infront of others.
There are few exceptions to this when you have to vent out your frustration, anger and disappointments and you talk to people close to your heart like your mother/father, best friends etc.
The problem with spreading -ve about a person is it tends to get magnified after each hop which not only puts that particular person's character in question in front of others but also your own character/attitude as people do notice that you criticize more than you appreciate.
This is very true and can see among colleagues, friends, relatives, mates etc.
Suppose I go to a party or a dinner with friends and I start some discussion; someone starts a discussion about another friend who is not present there and says he did that thing bad, he was awful on that day, he didn't know this, he couldn't even hold a glass etc etc in a funny way. I believe this is an attack on the back of your friend, you are criticizing him when he is not there. This is utter nonsense and you irrespective of circumstances should never do this; you are maligning his character in front of others. How could you just do this to your own friend? The same is true in case of colleagues in office.
Instead of harming someone why don't you spread the word of goodness about him. Tell others that this person is very charming, he works hard, he/she is punctual, he/she dresses well, he/she is good at heart etc whatever you feel good about him.
The advantage of this good behavior is that you start liking about that person slowly as you are not thinking only of his goodness, there is no malice in your heart, you are also doing a favor to him by spreading some good words about him. Everyone feels happy when they hear some good things about themselves, it will make them more lively in life and they start doing things with much zeal which in turn leads to increased productivity in office life as well as a balanced life.
But what if the person in question is bad and he has a handful of bad traits?
Tough task but not impossible to do.
Discuss with him personally about what you feel wrong with him and what do you think would need a change in his attitude/behaviour; talk to him honestly, when you talk to him, when you vent it out what ever you have against him then you won't have that feeling to speak ill about him among others.
One of my best friends taught me this, this idea really makes sense and build relationships among people.
I believe god forbids people to see/talk/think/hear etc etc about evil.
so if you see someone saying bad things about your colleagues/friends in a group then please stop him there and divert the topic, you are saving someone from the attack/from the humiliation. This will also stop the spread of badness.
Always remember, you can always spread the word of goodness but not the word.
Distribute the goodness among people but not the badness, you should stop the badness before it gets spread. Kill the evil.
May the word of goodness be spread and every human being realizes and lives as gods own creatures.
Long live this beautiful world and long live nature !!!
We all are human beings and every man/woman is more than a critic than an appreciator.
That's quite true in every sense and I am sure most people agree to this.
I'll take my life as an example.
In my earlier life - late teens and early twenties, I have had this bad habit of talking much and spreading words here and there especially peoples' -ve traits.
I feel this is one of the deadly sins, I was made to realize that I was doing a mistake in those days by a good colleague in my first company.
Later I knew that I was continuing doing that but couldn't control it.
Now I am in my late 20s and I could see a change in my for the past 1 or 2 years. I am conscious whenever I talk to people not to discuss other peoples' -ves infront of others.
There are few exceptions to this when you have to vent out your frustration, anger and disappointments and you talk to people close to your heart like your mother/father, best friends etc.
The problem with spreading -ve about a person is it tends to get magnified after each hop which not only puts that particular person's character in question in front of others but also your own character/attitude as people do notice that you criticize more than you appreciate.
This is very true and can see among colleagues, friends, relatives, mates etc.
Suppose I go to a party or a dinner with friends and I start some discussion; someone starts a discussion about another friend who is not present there and says he did that thing bad, he was awful on that day, he didn't know this, he couldn't even hold a glass etc etc in a funny way. I believe this is an attack on the back of your friend, you are criticizing him when he is not there. This is utter nonsense and you irrespective of circumstances should never do this; you are maligning his character in front of others. How could you just do this to your own friend? The same is true in case of colleagues in office.
Instead of harming someone why don't you spread the word of goodness about him. Tell others that this person is very charming, he works hard, he/she is punctual, he/she dresses well, he/she is good at heart etc whatever you feel good about him.
The advantage of this good behavior is that you start liking about that person slowly as you are not thinking only of his goodness, there is no malice in your heart, you are also doing a favor to him by spreading some good words about him. Everyone feels happy when they hear some good things about themselves, it will make them more lively in life and they start doing things with much zeal which in turn leads to increased productivity in office life as well as a balanced life.
But what if the person in question is bad and he has a handful of bad traits?
Tough task but not impossible to do.
Discuss with him personally about what you feel wrong with him and what do you think would need a change in his attitude/behaviour; talk to him honestly, when you talk to him, when you vent it out what ever you have against him then you won't have that feeling to speak ill about him among others.
One of my best friends taught me this, this idea really makes sense and build relationships among people.
I believe god forbids people to see/talk/think/hear etc etc about evil.
so if you see someone saying bad things about your colleagues/friends in a group then please stop him there and divert the topic, you are saving someone from the attack/from the humiliation. This will also stop the spread of badness.
Always remember, you can always spread the word of goodness but not the word.
Distribute the goodness among people but not the badness, you should stop the badness before it gets spread. Kill the evil.
May the word of goodness be spread and every human being realizes and lives as gods own creatures.
Long live this beautiful world and long live nature !!!
No comments:
Post a Comment